Tuesday, October 2, 2012

{Caged} Where is my Value?

If only it were so easy to always believe that our value was far above rubies and pearls.. even though the Bible clearly states that we are so much more valuable than we will ever be able to realize. 

{Worthless}
That is a feeling that plagues me.  
Though I had some amazing people in my life who always love me unconditionally, I have struggled with the feeling that I'm not a person of value. 

When I was about 2 my parents got divorced, my father was a very violent man, my mom was lucky to get out alive. My father walked away from me, without batting an eye. I could never understand how someone could just not want to be apart of their kids life. It just never made sense to me. When I reconnected with him at 17, I had hoped that maybe he would see what he had missed. It never happened. A couple years after we reconnected, he was killed while trying to attack my step-mother. It's been a long road to resolve the feelings of worthlessness, that came from that. 


 This list of verses has always helped me when I feel the sting of worthlessness from my father... because he isn't the father that really matters to me. My Heavenly Father is. I've found that when I put my worth in people, or myself, that is when I feel that I don't have value. Our value is in the Lord. It's when we remember what he did for us on the cross that we can be free to know that we have worth far more precious than we could ever imagine! Because the Lord doesn't make mistakes. We are made for a purpose, and the Lord has great plans for us all! That is what I try to remember when I start to feel that I have to value, that the Lord has plans for me and I am not here without a purpose.



I do have many positive influences in my life as well... and these influences shape me to be who I am, and have given me the gift of unconditional love and value. I want to be sure to honor them too.. my life wouldn't be what it is without these people too!!

I was {VERY} blessed to have my Papa. 

This man is the purest example of what unconditional love is. I spent most of my time with my grandparents growing up. They are the biggest part of who I am. My papa, this man has never lost faith in me, he's never stopped loving me, he's never stopped praying for me, he's never stopped believing in me, he's never stopped understanding me, he's never stopped trusting in me. He has been the example of Christ to me. His unconditional love for me is something that I will cherish forever. 

This is the final thought... when the thoughts of worthlessness hit you, and you think you don't have value, remember {YOU} are the chosen daughter of the King of Kings, and He loves you more than you could EVER imagine! 



5 comments:

MrsJWhyte said...

you are such a strong woman ms becky!!!! i admire you. <3 adorable pic too btw.

sharon said...

Becky your story is very raw and inspiring. It's so important for kids to know God, because he is the one that is there in those very dark moments of life. Our worth if put in other areas other than God are not consistent or pure. My brothers bestfriend raped me at 11, and I know now that even though it was a dark moment, God let me know as I was growing up I was still Sharon and not all the other stuff that comes along with those moments. To be honest I'm still working on the forgiveness part.As my daughter hit that age I'm so glad God was there to help me through my fear's. Only pure love combats fear, and God is love.

Unknown said...

Sharon thank you so much for sharing with me, I know that wasn't easy. You are so right... God is pure love! It took me so long to realize that He was with me even in the dark moments... but I do know now that He never leaves us:) xo

Monika, I heart you!

Lisa Gullion said...

I not only love your crochet but admire your faith. The way people treat us isn't a reflection on our worth but a reflection of their own problems. Just because there are people who do not see our worth also doesn't mean you were not meant to be great and do great things.

Unknown said...

Thank you so much Lisa!
I couldn't agree more!